Elfstones

[Clayface]

I Cannot believe you read 'The Sword of Shitara' before 'The Lord of the Rings'. That must be a bit like being raised to believe Tofu is food and then being given a steak and Kidney Pudding. Did you start foaming at the mouth and screaming when you read LotR?

My aunt told me they had a cat re-homed with them that had been fed 'Vegetarian Cat-Food' all its life. They couldn't be arsed with that so gave it Whiskas. The First time they fed it, she tells me she was laughing so hard she couldn't get her 'phone out to film it before it ate the whole lot in ten seconds flat, was violently sick, ate the sick and then fell over and lay there like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.

[An Absent Humphrey]

I also read the Shannara books before reading LotR.

I read the Shannara books back in 80s, during the role playing craze. But I just never got round to reading LotR. I think that's probably because the middle-earth devotees I knew were a bunch of cocks, and I didn't want any kind of allegiance with them. That said, I had read The Hobbit (when the Speccy game came out - I think my English teacher couldn't believe it when someone went up to her spontaneously to borrow a book to read without being prompted. I bet that made her career. I bet she really felt like her work and literature had reached out to someone. Didn't have the heart to break it to her that I wanted it so I could complete a computer game). Oddly, I had read (most of) The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales.

But I never got around to reading LotR until AFTER seeing the films. And I bloody loved them (the films and the books).

I never read the Belgariad books for the same reason I never read LotR - the one person who raved about then was a complete bell-end, and it put me off. Although when we started our massive RQ2 campaign he called his character Belgariad. I'd never heard the name at the time and I thought it was such a great name and was envious and wished I'd come up with something just as good. I defaulted to one of those one or two syllable names that all RPG characters have (Maglor, my eventual Black Fang runelord. I got the name Maglor from The Silmarillion).

[Clayface]

Oddly, I had read (most of) The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales.

The Hobbit was the very first book i went into a booskhop, chose off the shelf and bought, when I was 6, 'cos my english teacher had read the first few chapters to the class aloud. I loved it of course, and tried to read 'LOTR' but when Bilbo leaves and the author says 'and no-one in the shire ever saw him again' or whatever, I went 'wha? no Bilbo? screw this!' - I was far too young to spot this old Author's trick for what it was*. A few years later I picked up the Illustrated 'Tolkien Bestiary' and loved it, then read David Day's Complete Guide to Middle Earth, so I tried again and loved it but was very confused as I kept expecting Turin and Morgoth to turn up.

* Oddly, another great book where I failed to spot that ploy was 'The Stand' where Stu Redman breaks his leg and the other main characters have to leave him behind 'and none of them ever saw him again' god I was furious.

[The Dozing Dragon]

What is everyone watching it on in the UK?* Can't find it myself






*link you cunts, not 'TV/laptop etc

[An Absent Humphrey]

OK, speaking of great 'and no one saw him again' moments, I remember reading Knights Of Dark Reknown (my fabvourite David Gemmell book. After Waylander, obviously. We'll forget Waylander 2 ever happened). And it's at the end, when it says 'he rode off into the gate and he didn't come back.' I totally fucking loved that.

[An Absent Humphrey]

What is everyone watching it on in the UK?* Can't find it myself






*link you cunts, not 'TV/laptop etc

That's because it's not on in UK yet. Thankfully.

[Clayface]

OK, speaking of great 'and no one saw him again' moments, I remember reading Knights Of Dark Reknown (my fabvourite David Gemmell book. After Waylander, obviously. We'll forget Waylander 2 ever happened). And it's at the end, when it says 'he rode off into the gate and he didn't come back.' I totally fucking loved that.

Not read it - did he ever come back? 'cos the point about none of the other twenty main characters seeing Stu Redman again was that King killed everyone BUT Stu*, which was both great, 'cos I liked Stu, and awful 'cos I liked the other lads as well. I had hardly forgiven him for Killing Nick Andros and he fucking kills Larry. and Ralph! and fuck, Glenn. King you bastard.

*WITH A NUKE. How about that? Seriously, I would actually sometimes be tempted to say the original 'THE STAND' is the best book ever written. I have started a thread about how much I like it, and I cannot think of another book I have read twenty times and never once gone'bored' and put it down. every time I pick it up to read again I read it cover to cover, often in one night like the first time I did when I was about 13. An author who puts that much work into creating about thirty major and about 50 minor characters and then kills just about every single one? What a star.

[Derek H]

That's because it's not on in UK yet. Thankfully.

I imagine it's available to anyone who wants to see it and knows how to use Pirate Bay.

[Clayface]

I bet you've read all the Dune books too, crying softly with self-hatred at every page?

Just spotted this, and care for my reputation makes me point out that no, I certainly did not. I realised half-way through the second one that 'Dune' had been a fluke, and skimmed the third. nothing since then.

I bet YOU have read ll the Game of Thrones or whatever they are called, and are unable to sleep wondering if Grumpy or Tasha Yar* feature in the next one.

I may have got their names wrong. the little fella and the agressive mannish bird. them. I like tits as much as the next man, but cannot stay awake through an episode. I tried reading the first book, but there are no tits?

[Sondergaard]

Is this on in the UK? I'd give it a shot out of curiosity.

You have read the above thread and want to 'give it a shot out of curiosity?'

It's just possible my sweaty bell-end tastes like Cadbury's Chocolate. why not give it a suck, just out of curiosity?

Do you have a Sinclair C5 and a couple of cases of New Coke parked in your garage, or does the Edsel take up all the space?

I like to make my own mind up. Should only take 10 minutes or so, Ike Beowulf (shit), Last Kingdom (shit), Helix (shit) etc.
If I took notice of Frother's opinions I wouldn't have seen TFA, which is great fun, you miserable cunt.