Wank horror films

Discussion of cinematic genius and disaster past and present, with a twist of froth.

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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Steders » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:36 am

The Canal
Miserable twat with wayout of his league wife suspects she is having an affair. She is. Stuff happens.
British film, little bit inconsistent to be honest. Not completely horrible although I didn't really believe this attractive woman would saddle herself with a lumpy faced no hoper


SPOILERS
I was left thinking of the Orphanage,http://frothersunite.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=44056&hilit=orphanagea great film if it had ditched all of the supernatural elements. The impact would have been far stronger. This suffered in the same way and I think they wanted the shock ending which wouldn't work without the supernatural elements.
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby kawasaki » Mon Sep 26, 2016 1:18 pm

Steders wrote:The Canal
Miserable twat with wayout of his league wife suspects she is having an affair. She is. Not much happens.
British film, little bit inconsistent to be honest. Not completely horrible although I didn't really believe this attractive woman would saddle herself with a lumpy faced no hoper




I've seen that. Christ it was dull.

The best scene was when he's spying on his missus and her boss, hoping to catch them at it. He does, and she sees him. Poor woman doesn't know if she's coming or going :)
The Cardinal of Cunt

I have never heard of Frothers Unite- UK!

http://theminiaturespage.com/boards/msg.mv?id=201399
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Steders » Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:49 am

kawasaki wrote:I've seen that. Christ it was dull.


Says the train spotter
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Steders » Mon Oct 24, 2016 7:22 am

The Babadook
Single mum looking after annoying child finds creepy children's book and shit happens.
Although the kid in this is incredibly annoying (but that's the point)he stays just the right side of sympathetic.
I enjoyed this, well worth a watch, the Mum plays a great part.
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Steders » Tue Nov 08, 2016 12:40 pm

Occulus
The ginger lass from Doctor Who attempts to prove a mirror was responsible for her parents murder not her brother. Starbuck from BSG plays her Mum in the flashbacks. No. Not Dirk fucking Benedict you cunts.
The brother is fresh out of a nuthouse and so his sister thinks the best thing to do is take him back to the scene of the crime, what a bitch.
Very average, the thing that bothered me the most is that the brother looks like a catalogue model not a newly released inmate from a sanatorium.
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Steders » Thu Nov 24, 2016 3:45 pm

Payback
Had high hopes for this. Its stars Adrien Brody and Sam Neil. The cover looked interesting so I bought it. Do not read the synopsis on the back. It tells you the story, seriously why? What a bunch of wankers.
It was ok but any impact is lost because you sort of know whats going on.
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Steders » Thu Mar 02, 2017 11:19 am

The Witch
1630s new England
A family are living on their own in the middle of nowhere. Shit happens
I really enjoyed this, reminded me in some ways of Blood on Satans claw.
Well worth a watch.


Dario Argentos Dracula
I have no words for this film. I lasted 20 minutes and considering the utter fucking rubbish I will sit through and go 'that was ok' then this has to be bad.
Do not watch it (the first vamp has a great set of charlies but that doesn't save the film at all)
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby kawasaki » Thu Mar 02, 2017 2:13 pm

Steders wrote:I really enjoyed this, reminded me in some ways of Blood on Satans claw.


Linda Hayden gets her tits out and flashes her muff?

That's not quite as appealing as it was in 1971...
The Cardinal of Cunt

I have never heard of Frothers Unite- UK!

http://theminiaturespage.com/boards/msg.mv?id=201399
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby sane max nli » Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:41 pm

Duff wrote:You sound a bit like my brother in law Steders.


:shock: :shock: :shock: Steders is your brother in law?

My Brother In Law Steders

Ultra-low budget British FF horror. The FF element is plausibly done, although many of the others in the Cinema found the opening 20 minute wedding scene a little slow, and the twenty second wedding night scene felt like it would never, ever end.. I was surprised the team behind 'Sex Lives of the Potato Men' got a second crack at making a film, but they have learned their lesson by avoiding any attempt at sex or comedy this time round, and by getting an uglier cast and a more downmarket setting.

1 Choccy Starfish out of 5 trillion

Pat
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Re: Wank horror films

Postby Australian Dawn » Sun Mar 26, 2017 8:47 am

Steders wrote:The Babadook
Single mum looking after annoying child finds creepy children's book and shit happens.
Although the kid in this is incredibly annoying (but that's the point)he stays just the right side of sympathetic.
I enjoyed this, well worth a watch, the Mum plays a great part.

Been meaning to watch this for ages but couldn't remember the name. Thanks for the reminder. :)
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