So this EU thing

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Re: So this EU thing

Postby heaps of bodies » Fri May 17, 2019 2:16 pm

THEY’RE off! The starting gun has been fired, Theresa May’s long, slow demise is drawing to a close, and an absolute arsehole will succeed her. But which one?

Boris Johnson

There will be voters in the next election who were not yet born when Boris Johnson began his epic run for Conservative prime minister. The blonde buffoon, who is secretly incredibly evil, fucked over the entire country to get back at David Cameron and would happily cause nuclear war to reduce sales of Cameron’s memoir. Odds: 8-1.


Jacob Rees-Mogg

The choice of Tory members who just want to watch the world burn, Rees-Mogg was a laughing stock at Eton. At Eton. Imagine how much of a bellend you would have to be to be a laughing stock at Eton. Hobbies include sticking pins in the feet of six-year-old chimney sweeps. Odds: 40-1.

Michael Gove

The sentient bacterial colony inhabiting the once-living body of Michael Gove cannot understand why it is not already prime minister, since it has the backing of ‘the Murdoch’. It blames humans. They are illogical and weak and must be culled. Odds 5-2.

Amber Rudd

Remember when Jeremy Corbyn got put on the Labour leadership ballot as a polite gesture to the party’s left? That’s what Amber Rudd is to the Tories now. That’s how far right they’ve gone. Odds 100-1.

Daenerys Targaryen

Burning thousands of innocent people to death just to prove you deserve to be in power is Tory to the core. However Daenerys may face opposition from the Tory grassroots, particularly women, because she is a woman. Odds: 9-1.

Nigel Farage


Oh, just give it to him. He’s run your fucking party for the last nine years anyway. Odds: Evens



https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics ... 0517185724
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby FFS » Sat May 18, 2019 2:24 pm

Image

"
James Felton
‏Verified account @JimMFelton

It’s a personal matter that I, a politician, was funded half a million pounds from a man under criminal investigation for dodgy funding of political campaigns."



Not if you're an MEP it's not!
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby Visitor » Mon May 20, 2019 12:00 am

heaps of bodies wrote:THEY’RE off! The starting gun has been fired, Theresa May’s long, slow demise is drawing to a close, and an absolute arsehole will succeed her. But which one?

Boris Johnson

There will be voters in the next election who were not yet born when Boris Johnson began his epic run for Conservative prime minister. The blonde buffoon, who is secretly incredibly evil, fucked over the entire country to get back at David Cameron and would happily cause nuclear war to reduce sales of Cameron’s memoir. Odds: 8-1.


Jacob Rees-Mogg

The choice of Tory members who just want to watch the world burn, Rees-Mogg was a laughing stock at Eton. At Eton. Imagine how much of a bellend you would have to be to be a laughing stock at Eton. Hobbies include sticking pins in the feet of six-year-old chimney sweeps. Odds: 40-1.

Michael Gove

The sentient bacterial colony inhabiting the once-living body of Michael Gove cannot understand why it is not already prime minister, since it has the backing of ‘the Murdoch’. It blames humans. They are illogical and weak and must be culled. Odds 5-2.

Amber Rudd

Remember when Jeremy Corbyn got put on the Labour leadership ballot as a polite gesture to the party’s left? That’s what Amber Rudd is to the Tories now. That’s how far right they’ve gone. Odds 100-1.

Daenerys Targaryen

Burning thousands of innocent people to death just to prove you deserve to be in power is Tory to the core. However Daenerys may face opposition from the Tory grassroots, particularly women, because she is a woman. Odds: 9-1.

Nigel Farage


Oh, just give it to him. He’s run your fucking party for the last nine years anyway. Odds: Evens



https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics ... 0517185724


I was laughing my ass off while reading this and the following 10 mins. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby Bronshtein » Mon May 20, 2019 10:55 am

I see Brexit has provoked a flurry of lavender scented handkerchiefs on the Bloody Big Battles Yahoo Group (bet you didn't know such things still existed :D ).

Somebody mentioned they thought Brexit was rather silly given everyone was multilingual and getting along with each other on BBB - cue smelling salts about 'politics' on a wargame group.

I suppose if the internet had been around in the 30s it would have been okay to wargame the Spanish Civil War as long as no-one suggested the fascist take over of western European civilsation might be a bad thing.

(Yes I am drawing a direct and simple comparison between what is happening now and the rise of Fascism in the 30s - 'they haven't...' to borrow Mr Adam's quote about another bunch of murderers, '...gone away you know.')
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby wut!! » Mon May 20, 2019 12:36 pm

heaps of bodies wrote:THEY’RE off! The starting gun has been fired, Theresa May’s long, slow demise is drawing to a close, and an absolute arsehole will succeed her. But which one?

Boris Johnson

There will be voters in the next election who were not yet born when Boris Johnson began his epic run for Conservative prime minister. The blonde buffoon, who is secretly incredibly evil, fucked over the entire country to get back at David Cameron and would happily cause nuclear war to reduce sales of Cameron’s memoir. Odds: 8-1.


Jacob Rees-Mogg

The choice of Tory members who just want to watch the world burn, Rees-Mogg was a laughing stock at Eton. At Eton. Imagine how much of a bellend you would have to be to be a laughing stock at Eton. Hobbies include sticking pins in the feet of six-year-old chimney sweeps. Odds: 40-1.

Michael Gove

The sentient bacterial colony inhabiting the once-living body of Michael Gove cannot understand why it is not already prime minister, since it has the backing of ‘the Murdoch’. It blames humans. They are illogical and weak and must be culled. Odds 5-2.

Amber Rudd

Remember when Jeremy Corbyn got put on the Labour leadership ballot as a polite gesture to the party’s left? That’s what Amber Rudd is to the Tories now. That’s how far right they’ve gone. Odds 100-1.

Daenerys Targaryen

Burning thousands of innocent people to death just to prove you deserve to be in power is Tory to the core. However Daenerys may face opposition from the Tory grassroots, particularly women, because she is a woman. Odds: 9-1.

Nigel Farage


Oh, just give it to him. He’s run your fucking party for the last nine years anyway. Odds: Evens



https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics ... 0517185724


Slightly more seriously, whilst I fucking hate Gove, I have read and I have friends who worked for the MOJ whilst he was there that claim that despite him being an utter wanker, he gets things done and actually concerns himself with his dept, even the Beeb make these claims! So maybe he wouldn't be as bad as we think?

And not on this list but I don't hate Rory Stewart who I believe is up for the job, and may make a refreshing change to the usual suspects that are being bandied about.

Now im off to sit down as I have just defended two tories and I suddenly feel queasy
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby Bronshtein » Mon May 20, 2019 1:54 pm

Well lots of people 'get things done' - whether that is a good thing or not depends on what it is they are doing.

Don't see Govey as completely evil - but I'm not sure I want his wife as the eminence grise in No.10.
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby heaps of bodies » Mon May 20, 2019 2:10 pm

Bronshtein wrote:Well lots of people 'get things done' - whether that is a good thing or not depends on what it is they are doing.

Don't see Govey as completely evil - but I'm not sure I want his wife.


If he was not married to her, I would not be averse to voting for him. He does appear to actually give a shit about stuff, and gets it done, like they say. It just seems she puts things in his head that a normal person would not have in there.

as Haunted Pob Dolls go, he is one of the better ones.
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby Bronshtein » Tue May 21, 2019 6:04 pm

Image


I deplore this sort of thing - that we are reduced to this - this is what happens when you remove access to proper weaponry from the people.
Fucking milkshakes?
Are there no .357 Magnums left...
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby Guest » Tue May 21, 2019 6:10 pm

Bronshtein wrote:Image


I deplore this sort of thing - that we are reduced to this - this is what happens when you remove access to proper weaponry from the people.
Fucking milkshakes?
Are there no .357 Magnums left...

This is what happens without a 2nd Amendment. I’ve heard that the mythical “British Constitution” is a lot easier to amend. Go for it.
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Re: So this EU thing

Postby FFS » Tue May 21, 2019 8:38 pm

Farage thinks it's milk.
The last milkshake container said "Five Guys". :puke:
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