King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

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Expand view Topic review: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by Bronshtein » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:54 pm

Been drinking the fermented rhubarb crumble again?

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by Sane max nli » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:58 am

Bronshtein wrote:Well, on the one hand it's a legend so it's up for grabs!


rather like your arse in fact.

leg end? is that like 'understandings' ?

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by sane max nli » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:55 am

Hastati wrote:
Tomkinson (Spotty Oik) wrote:There's a second trailer here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0CsoPAlGlg

Fast forward to around 2:08 minutes. I am shamed by my own previous ignorance as to the finer detail of the Arthurian legend - I never realised giant Mumakil played a part...


No, no thank you.


It's hard to resist the Producer's demands on these matters you know.

So all day long the noise of battle roll'd
Among the mountains by the winter sea;
All Mordred's men were dead and killed 'n' shit
After both sides charged screaming 'cross the plain
Until King Arthur's table, man by man,
Had blown up in a massive blast
of flame cast by an enormous catapult
King Arthur: then, because his wound was deep,
The bold Sir Bedivere uplifted him,
Sir Bedivere, the last of all his knights,
wiped off the warpaint of a dragon eating a fucking enormous robot wolf
And bore him to a chapel nigh the field,
A broken chancel with a broken cross,
That stood on a dark strait of barren land
a bit like Bladerunner but all mediaeval and stuff
On one side lay the Ocean, and on one
Lay an fuck-off huge cool fucking elephant
with flick-knives strapped unto its mighty trunk

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by Bronshtein » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:49 pm

Well, on the one hand it's all a legend so it's up for grabs, on the other...FFS!

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by kawasaki » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:28 pm

I'll stick with T. H. White.

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by Hastati » Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:43 pm

Tomkinson (Spotty Oik) wrote:There's a second trailer here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0CsoPAlGlg

Fast forward to around 2:08 minutes. I am shamed by my own previous ignorance as to the finer detail of the Arthurian legend - I never realised giant Mumakil played a part...


No, no thank you.

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by Tomkinson » Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:52 pm

There's a second trailer here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0CsoPAlGlg

Fast forward to around 2:08 minutes. I am shamed by my own previous ignorance as to the finer detail of the Arthurian legend - I never realised giant Mumakil played a part...

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by sane max nli » Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:26 pm

Watched that trailer - so many questions :) lindybeige will have a field day!

why is the sword stuck in a piss-hole on a sculptured bell-end??

Re: King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by sane max nli » Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:22 pm

as a rule anything called 'Historical name you know : Cool sounding extra bit to attract the thickos' is likely to be piss-poor.

See 'Beowulf: Hack Slash Stab!' or whatever it was called as a prime example

King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword

Post by Tomkinson » Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:52 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvg-7EreG9E

What looks to be yet another Game of Thrones rehash in which Arthur has been re-imagined as a strutting young hunk of beefcake sporting the kind of blonde nazi-esque haircut now so beloved of hipsters and starring Jude Law (presumably hamming it up) as "Vortigern". Vortigern's sidekicks appear to be kitted out in a job lot of ex-Elvish suits of armour from Peter Jackson's LOTR, blackened with added spikey bits. Apparently if everything goes to plan, Warner Bros has its eye on a new franchise off the back of this film which is said to be the first in up to six potential movies. And to top it all, directed by Guy Richie... crappy Guy bloody Richie! Oh ffs. This does not bode well...

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